Why do some followers accept to dance with someone if they’re not really interested in dancing with that person? Is it even enjoyable for them?

I finished the tanda but I believe next time I won’t.

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  1. Why did she accept? Because you asked, and she was nice enough to say yes.
    Why did you ask somebody who was not interested in dancing with you in the first place? You couldn’t tell in advance? Then so, perhaps, neither could she? 😉

  2. Tango Padawan

    Hi Frances,
    I could not tell in advance obviously… and then when she said yes kind of hesitantly I realized it was the start of a not good tanda…

  3. Hi TP.
    It might be scary to dance with somebody new. You have been there, too, I am sure. Don’t take a hesitant tone so personally 🙂
    I try not to read too much into these things. If they asked/said “yes”, they wanted to dance with me. Whatever their motivation was.
    Psychanalyse is complicated and potentially dangerous work. Not to be performed for free at milongas 🙂

  4. Hum, well, there have been times in which I have been hesitant because I was tired and didn’t know if I was going to be able to do as well as I would want to! So a hesitant attitude really doesn’t mean much. The problem is that sometimes we end up reading too much into things, become taken aback ourselves, and the bad tanda becomes a self-fulfilling expectation.

  5. Hi tango padawan:

    Read this (http://mytangologue.blogspot.com/2008/04/wrong-message.html). I learnt not to try and do psychanalysis while dancing tango and it did improve my dances with those people who I think are doing it because they weren’t brave enough to say no. I’ll invite them again if they are worth it… ;o)

  6. Tango Padawan

    Thanks all for the comments. I know I should not take it so personally but if I put my heart on the line, it’s always hard to ignore.
    I probably over-thought the whole thing…

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