Dear Debbi, your post regarding tango etiquette on how you gracefully explained to a young leader the 101 of a milonga etiquette is great. I do, however, digress with you on the reason why people leave Tango for some other dance. There’s just not enough kind persons willing to explain this stuff in the tango scenes of some cities. Yes, the teachers should do this. But so should anyone.

It’s the off putting attitude of people that generally turns people down on activities. Everyone wants to be welcomed to a social group and enlightened with a positive spin.

If you’re a starting leader, don’t fret about your mistakes and mishaps. The kindest followers tend to also be the truly kind persons. The ones concerned about setting everyone right – specially the young and naive – tend to have a big ego and dance more with their own ego during the dance than with you.

Recently I had a chance to dance with a relatively famous Tango DJ. I immediately realized she was a really nice person since even though she was tired she still swapped her sandals for some dancing shoes after I asked her. That, on everyone’s book, is a very nice gesture.

We danced and chatted. The dancing was very cool, relaxing, flowy. I went for a laid-back interpretation of the music. Enrique Rodriguez. I shared with her about how I’ve been going back and forth between different approaches to interpreting music. Basically to either try to capture the mood of the whole music or to try and dance every tiny nuance/detail of the song. She joked about it and told me I was maybe worrying to much about it…

That further led us to talk about how we spend our time at the milongas. She then told me something very interesting that reminded me of how I sometimes forget how social the milongas should be. The thing she enjoys more at the milongas, believe it or not, is not actually the non-stop dancing. What she enjoys more is to sit and eat while talking with people mixed with the dancing.

Here’s to food and wine at milongas!

I said hi and she said hi back to me. The last and only time we danced was, according to my recollection, disappointing. To her.

I was nervous since I had seen her dance before. She was obviously a gifted dancer. I could not connect and figure out her style. Nothing in that dance “connected” to me. Not with the music, not with her. My mind had been haunted already with the images of her confidence dancing with great dancers. I could not shake that off. The dance was not our dance, it was someone else’s, badly impersonated. A sad affair.

She remembered me. She remembered me as a person.

In the milonga world there are dancers and amazing human beings that love to dance. I admire the latter. I am grateful she reminded me of that.

Thank you.

I’m still alive, thinking and living tango. But writing less. Dancing a bit less too, but alas, life gets in the way. I have been out socially a bit less than what I used to and having less flavorful nights when I do. Some politics to deal with and a busy life have kept me from fully enjoying some nights.

I don’t really have much to say so I will share with you two videos from Fabian Peralta and Virginia Pandolfi. These are recent videos shot at Salon Canning, earlier in the year.

I find their interpretation very close to the music. This is the current trend except for older milongueros it seems. And maybe Melina and Detlef.

Anyway, here’s hope that one day I can be as close to the music so that I can then detach from it.

My tango vals question still has to deserve an answer from anyone. Feel free to say it’s a stupid question. But be nice about it.

You don’t need to turn down people that have been nice to you before just to be accepted to a clique.

I know a festival is a moment where you think you need to be accepted by others but perhaps being nice to the leaders that have helped you blossom will go a longer way than you believe.

I get reminded by a follower that all the technique in the world are useless if you’re not committed to the dance or to dancing with someone…

Javier says at a point in the interview:

Para bailar tango tanto la mujer como el hombre deben sentir y pensar en quién los acompaña. Hoy hay mucho odio tapado, se reprime la relación, hay miedo. Las personas se acercan al tango por el abra- zo, vienen en busca de él, pero cuando llegan a la clase prefieren una posición más abierta, donde cada uno esté en su eje, sintiéndose independiente. Quieren bailar juntos, se mueren por estar abrazados, se necesi- tan, pero no lo demuestran ni lo aceptan. Finalmente se cansan y se largan a la pista, pero han pasado por un prólogo demasiado largo.

English translation:

To dance tango men and women need to feel and think about the partner they dance with. Today there is a lot of hidden resentment, repressed relationships and there is fear. People are attracted by tango because of its embrace, they search for it, but once they come to class, they prefer a more open posi- tion where each dancer is in his own axis, maintaining his feeling of independence. They want to dance with each other, they are dying to be embraced, they need each other, but they neither show nor accept it. In the end they get tired of it and they throw themselves on the dance floor, but prior to that too much time has passed.

From El Tangauta Nº 184 (FEB 2010). Read the entire interview, it’s very interesting.

Am I the only one that doesn’t really like the jumpy holding hand?

Some followers even back-lead me that hand motion.

I have been eagerly awaiting for a breakthrough in the past months. I’m addicted to change and committed to re-visiting my views of things and my own personal paradigms.

Tango has immense potential for that but it hasn’t happened in months now. I wonder after a couple of years what is a normal rate if that happening.

Is having privates the only way to go? That is a route I can’t really afford.