I lead most of the time I dance tango. I practice my follower’s skills in practicas. In milongas, I will sometimes follow in playful roles swaps with some lady friends.
I love to follow. It has been a process of re-discovering the dance. It made me gain much more appreciation for the dance and in particular, for how a leader can make a dance wonderful.
After reading this entry from tangopilgrim I realized why I love to follow. While leading I always need to be ahead of the follower and the dance in some ways, as a follower I release myself from all that and focus on the present. And the present only.
There’s something grandiose about a follower that truly follows, committing themselves to the moment and lead. It seems you only get that in blank slate beginners and extremely advanced dancers.
Too bad 90% of a follower’s tango life is spent between those two stages.
Practicing with beginners is great at many levels. It pushes my technique to boundaries that I normally don’t emphasize so much. For example, it’s challenging not to use my arms to overcome their insensitivity to the lead, thus leading me to be even more clear and powerful.
They feel raw, rough edges accompanied by an enjoyable naïvety.
Some beginners believe I’m a good dancer just because I was trying some acrobatics with someone before. I don’t like that. More often than not, those acrobatic moves didn’t feel good to any of the involved parties. Stumbling in their difficulties, they don’t (yet) realize that I am working on the same exact concepts they are.
Recently, while practicing with someone new to the dance, I tried to dance in close embrace. I had never danced in close embrace with her before. In fact, the only dances I had with her before were the two previous ones, in the same tanda. I immediately realized that she was used to using the arms instead of focusing on my chest to understand the lead. She did not realize what really having and nurturing a connection meant.
I proposed to practice without arms for a couple of songs. Soon we both realized how she was not matching my step size and rotation, causing her to come short of my new position almost every time. I encouraged her not to be shy in her movements and move with more courage and determination. Two songs later she had changed her attitude and was now becoming an active follower, powering her own steps. Before we parted, I tried to convey how the chest can have very subtle leads and how becoming more sensitive to it would open up possibilities in her dance. We both smiled and felt nourished with our short interaction.
Yes, she did not learn how to follow in close embrace in just 20 minutes. How could anyone anyway? I’m not a professional teacher and my experience in helping others has been rather limited too. I was just a guy that acceded to someone’s wishes to share some of my experience and ideas about the dance. What motivated me to write this romanticized version of the events was the end of the conversation: “You have totally changed the way I see and understand the dance. Thank you!”.
The follower I desired to dance with a while ago doesn’t captivate me as much now. I remember how her smile and apparent pleasure in the dance would make me desire to be able bold to dance with her. Several months after and a Denver festival on top, I am no longer afraid to invite her. I haven’t seen her in a while until recently in a milonga but was dancing mostly with friends I wanted to dance with.
Then a common friend and leader told me that I absolutely needed to dance with her. For him, she was at the top of the dancers in that milonga. She left before I could ask her. Then I realized that the fear was gone and had instead been replaced by curiosity. Tango can be funny…
I’ve always been into subtleties and surprises. It is if of no surprise then that I normally enjoy more dancing with followers that enjoy the pauses and musically driven movements in our share of tile. I take great pleasure in finding how honest and real the connection is, how much both of us are in sync. I’m a fan of less is more. Lately, I’ve been finding that I must lack the ability to transmit confidence and serenity to my followers. They often ask me what they should have done or they should do while I am pausing. Some have even confessed that sometimes they feel awkward because they’re afraid of not being able to follow what I am trying to lead. In reality, I’m just pausing for a bit.
That has got me thinking for a while. Either I am not dancing with followers that enjoy some pausing or slower movements – which are notoriously harder because they actually require both dancers to have good balance and grounding – or I am lacking the skills to convey confidence and the feeling of just enjoying the pause or slower movement. I believe it’s more of the latter and I have been trying to find how I can improve it. A lot of it is a mental mindset. Some friends tell me I can lead them much better after the Denver festival, noticing an improved sense of confidence and certainty in the movements. That, though, is not enough to convey calm and serenity in slower movements and pauses. I know practice will help but does anyone have insights on this?
Here’s a video of two dancers I admire. A while ago I took a milonga workshop with them. Clearly above what I danced then, it was nevertheless useful. They are dancing an exquisitely slow dance that looks (to me) beautiful. Enjoy it!