No matter how much you know that you shouldn’t be affected, sharing a dance floor with people doing beautiful open moves can be tough. Yes, we want to think that is all about musicality, small and beautiful. But it still gets to you. And you want to be able to do it.
Maybe to not do it so much afterwards?
Some of my friends keep telling me, when I ask about their tango, that they haven’t had an amazing dance for a long time now. Women. I always wonder about this. I still remember one amazing dance that I had when I was even more padawan. It was everything people normally mention and more.
But the thing is, I’m constantly having a great time out there. I can honestly count with one hand the nights that I’d rather forget. I can always remember something cool about a dance or having fun while dancing with my friends. I do not enter a milonga looking for the magical tanda or dance. I honestly don’t. Come to think of it, I haven’t really put much thought into as to what I think when I enter a milonga venue. I guess I feel the place, the vibe of who’s there and look more or less forward to dancing with who I see.
I don’t practice to get tango highs. I practice because I’m actually having fun by challenging myself and improving with dance partners. I do practice to better express tango the way I feel that tanda or day. I’ve found that being overly self-conscious doesn’t help so I’ve been looking more forward to improving rather than worrying about plateaus or current stages.
I wonder if I should be looking for the tango bliss more.
Learning tango is like Port Wine. The longer you age it inside the better and more refined it becomes.
Una Milonguera has a nice post about what (most I would risk) people are looking for in tango: El Abrazo perfecto. The perfect embrace (click here for the google translation from spanish).
Somehow this echoed back into my personal life, non-tango related. Well, we actually had some tango lessons together… I’ve had the experience of the perfect embrace. The non-tango one that is. This cartoon describes a bit what it was like and the last bit how I felt about it for a while. It’s over and I’ve moved on (or so I want to convince myself):
But I fully understand and realize what the original post is about. It’s that special connection, that moment when you embrace someone and everything around you disappears and there’s no more steps/moves/thoughts. There’s a flow. A perfect flow, pressure free of having to show off or remember to stay straight. I haven’t had had un abraco perfecto right at the beginning of the music. I’ve had embraces that build and reveal themselves over a tanda. A couple were memorable. I still remember them.
The most profound aspect of the post though is how you can make parallels between the embrace psyche in tango and with everyone’s life in general. I know there’s no meaning to life besides Tango but we also love. Deeply. Inside and outside Tango’s walls. The hope of the perfect tanda embrace keeps us going back and back just like we go back to find that someone special after we fail. We all know that it is out there waiting to be savored. We’ve all had glimpses of it. We feed off glimpses, maybes and the concept of the existence of the perfect union between two human beings. Embraced.
Un grande abrazo para vos.
Why do some followers accept to dance with someone if they’re not really interested in dancing with that person? Is it even enjoyable for them?
I finished the tanda but I believe next time I won’t.
The follower I desired to dance with a while ago doesn’t captivate me as much now. I remember how her smile and apparent pleasure in the dance would make me desire to be able bold to dance with her. Several months after and a Denver festival on top, I am no longer afraid to invite her. I haven’t seen her in a while until recently in a milonga but was dancing mostly with friends I wanted to dance with.
Then a common friend and leader told me that I absolutely needed to dance with her. For him, she was at the top of the dancers in that milonga. She left before I could ask her. Then I realized that the fear was gone and had instead been replaced by curiosity. Tango can be funny…
(La Tanguera has rightfully corrected my previous version of this post. See also her post here about it)
If you want to use the word, use it correctly. Please. I’ve seen all kinds of crazy variations of it and I don’t understand why. And I’m talking about reading it in teacher’s websites/blogs and other places where it is not really acceptable to have such mistakes. It’s not so hard to write it correctly at all.
Another aspect that has always puzzled me has been how people see it as a novelty. As Igor Polk mentions here, it’s something normally usual between friends. I come from a culture where half of the conversation involves our eyes and facial expressions. Also, more can be said in silence between words and laughs than by blabbing out every single word/idea in our mind. For me it’s very normal to use it. In fact, I’d rather not move at all from where I am standing or sitting to know if I’m welcome to dance with anyone than not. I cannot see why anyone would rather not use it…
Everytime I close my eyes I imagine myself dancing tango. I smile and a sense of bliss comes to me.
I imagine myself being good enough to lead a follower that I could not get my eyes out of on the dance floor. Is this a tango dancer crush? I didn’t dance with her. Maybe in some months I will see her again.
She also leads. When I close my eyes I imagine we dancing a tanda where we exchange leading and following (I love to follow too). A blurry 20 seconds role exchange after each music, giving the leader of the song enough time to feel the music. I imagine we closing eyes in turns and just smiling at the mutual pleasure of both roles in a dance. Of sharing with each other the roles interpretations. Of getting really intimate in the dance.
We actually introduced ourselves to each other early in the festival but after I saw her dance I was never bold enough to venture. I took the platonic route. That keeps alive the dream of a dance. There’s only one way to keep alive a platonic tango crush. And it helps if we go unnoticed 
Dancing tango can be dangerous. The feelings it creates are so strong…
ModernTanguera (MT) has a post concerning a Pugliese Tanda. She details what she considers essential for her enjoyment. I don’t know about people that don’t like dancing to Pugliese. I’m sure there are but I just can’t not dance to it. It’s traditionally considered a special tanda and people tend to save it for their most special person.
What I need to have a follower be able to do to enjoy a Pugliese tanda:
I had a tanda of Pugliese last weekend with a follower that is a better dancer. It was amazing. I could fully and reciprocally express my musical interpretation. We were very happy at the end but I’m sure she’s had better Puglieses. I’m gonna keep trying to take my Pugliese interpretations further and further…
I am deeply in love by Pugliese’s music. Dynamic, rhythmic, full of suprises. It breathes the essence of what Tango really is. Inside and outside the milonga event.