I’m going through a lot of tango blog posts. I’ve been more worried about work and dancing than actually writing about it. Going through those posts, I found Sorin’s post about being rudely denied a dance. I mean, yes, it was honest. I’d rather have that than this (I haven’t invited her again). She was brutally honest. She spoke what she felt. I’d rather believe she respects you by telling you the truth than saying her feet hurt or whatever lame excuse you’ve heard before.
I find funny why people expect tango communities to be overly friendly. I mean, just look at the profiles of people that constitute them. Normally, they’re full of all-round ambitious persons that have devoted a lot of time and dedication to the dance. A lot of them have learned about the history, the music and spent countless hours thinking about technique and built their own philosophy to approach the dance. I’d rather have one great dance with someone every month than so so dances weekly. I mean it. I’m not saying you should expect rudeness, but you should not expect fairy-tale behavior from anyone.
One of the biggest attractions of tango to me is getting close to my native background while being in US. I am originally from a country where people speak a lot more from the heart, less chit chat and even less bothering endeavors such as being “nice” or “pleasant” on demand. I expect people to be sincere to me at a milonga and I’d rather have someone tell me I suck to them than pity dances. I also expect any follower that dances with me to be in the right mindset. When one dances, one should put toda la carne en el assador.