Why do some followers accept to dance with someone if they’re not really interested in dancing with that person? Is it even enjoyable for them?

I finished the tanda but I believe next time I won’t.

The follower I desired to dance with a while ago doesn’t captivate me as much now. I remember how her smile and apparent pleasure in the dance would make me desire to be able bold to dance with her. Several months after and a Denver festival on top, I am no longer afraid to invite her. I haven’t seen her in a while until recently in a milonga but was dancing mostly with friends I wanted to dance with.

Then a common friend and leader told me that I absolutely needed to dance with her. For him, she was at the top of the dancers in that milonga. She left before I could ask her. Then I realized that the fear was gone and had instead been replaced by curiosity. Tango can be funny…

(image from here)

At the beginning it felt good. A friendly follower kept praising that I was a nice dancer, different than others. Then she asked me who I took classes with and now I am the professor’s students. She keeps on telling me how I dance nicely like the others that also take classes from the same teacher. I guess she’s saying that we don’t push women around, we listen to the music and strive for a good connection.

I don’t mind people praising me and my friends for dancing like how a professor advocates for. That’s all good. In fact, everyone choses their professors according to what they find is beautiful from an aesthetic point of view and how and what each professor focus on. But still, I feel like a copycat. I feel like a product.

I’ve always been into subtleties and surprises. It is if of no surprise then that I normally enjoy more dancing with followers that enjoy the pauses and musically driven movements in our share of tile. I take great pleasure in finding how honest and real the connection is, how much both of us are in sync. I’m a fan of less is more. Lately, I’ve been finding that I must lack the ability to transmit confidence and serenity to my followers. They often ask me what they should have done or they should do while I am pausing. Some have even confessed that sometimes they feel awkward because they’re afraid of not being able to follow what I am trying to lead. In reality, I’m just pausing for a bit.

That has got me thinking for a while. Either I am not dancing with followers that enjoy some pausing or slower movements – which are notoriously harder because they actually require both dancers to have good balance and grounding – or I am lacking the skills to convey confidence and the feeling of just enjoying the pause or slower movement. I believe it’s more of the latter and I have been trying to find how I can improve it. A lot of it is a mental mindset. Some friends tell me I can lead them much better after the Denver festival, noticing an improved sense of confidence and certainty in the movements. That, though, is not enough to convey calm and serenity in slower movements and pauses. I know practice will help but does anyone have insights on this?

Here’s a video of two dancers I admire. A while ago I took a milonga workshop with them. Clearly above what I danced then, it was nevertheless useful. They are dancing an exquisitely slow dance that looks (to me) beautiful. Enjoy it!

that finds most normal/traditional nuevo musics boring to no end? I have a hard time getting motivated to dance to it.

This post by Johanna is great. I would only digress by stating that not all professionals look sterile. In fact, those are the professionals that I personally admire for many reasons, the main one being that they have not fallen into the “technique trap“. This trap consists in your technique being so good that by that alone you are a very good dancer and are able to become a professional dancer. I definitely do admire professionals that avoid this trap by also putting their heart into the music and that I truly believe are interpreting the music with their heart every-time they dance.

That said, I agree with a lot of what Johanna says. It’s beautiful to see a couple dance and observe the two of them discovering new dimensions of the dance, smiling or looking really surprised. You get a glimpse of someone else’s tango journey.

I decided to write this post because I am feeling kind of sad lately. Maybe it’s post-denver blues or just (I hope) temporary sheer lack of inspiration. Nothing is coming out fluidly as it was and I am feeling deeply repetitive and unoriginal. I have been feeling comfortable in my knowledge zone and avoiding a bit venturing outside and feeling the frustrating pain of failing at new stuff…

I will force myself to make mistakes and struggle for newer ways of doing things. I need to recover the joy of closing my eyes and inventing new moves. Then find a willing follower of my new attitude easier said than done…

(La Tanguera has rightfully corrected my previous version of this post. See also her post here about it)

If you want to use the word, use it correctly. Please. I’ve seen all kinds of crazy variations of it and I don’t understand why. And I’m talking about reading it in teacher’s websites/blogs and other places where it is not really acceptable to have such mistakes. It’s not so hard to write it correctly at all.

Another aspect that has always puzzled me has been how people see it as a novelty. As Igor Polk mentions here, it’s something normally usual between friends. I come from a culture where half of the conversation involves our eyes and facial expressions. Also, more can be said in silence between words and laughs than by blabbing out every single word/idea in our mind. For me it’s very normal to use it. In fact, I’d rather not move at all from where I am standing or sitting to know if I’m welcome to dance with anyone than not. I cannot see why anyone would rather not use it…